What Daughters of Alcoholic Fathers Should Do

The relationship of a father and daughter is perhaps one of the sweetest and strongest in our lives. They share their personality traits, and being her dad's princess makes the daughter feel safe and strong in every step of life. However, if the father ever descends into an alcoholic lifestyle, that can have serious consequences on the daughter's life as well.

Children at a young age and adult children of an alcoholic mother or father go through a number of setbacks throughout their lives. If you're also a child of an alcoholic parent and fear that his substance abuse has negatively impacted your life, then please get in touch with us here at Diamond Rehab.

We offer counseling and consulting services to alcoholic mothers, children of alcoholics, adult children of alcoholics, and others living in an alcoholic home.

What to Do if You Are the Daughter of an Alcoholic Father?

As adult children, you have the right and responsibility to take action to plan recovery for your parents against alcohol use disorder. If you're feeling lost, here are some dos and don'ts on how you can proceed:

The Dos of Dealing With an Alcoholic Father

If your dad's a diagnosed or even a suspected alcoholic, then here are some steps you may take immediately to avoid getting the situation out of your hands:

1. Have Some Safety Arrangements

Alcoholics often tend to demonstrate hostile behavior when drunk, and sometimes even after they stop drinking. For example, they may attempt to beat, strangle, or even sexually assault their family members. As a daughter, you and other females and children of an alcoholic family are particularly at a higher risk of facing negative effects of alcohol issues in parents and other adults.

If your father shows symptoms of violent behavior, then you may seek a safe space to escape his attacks. For instance, you can have a safe room where both adult children and young children may hide. You can also ask your neighbors for help if you feel a greater risk in your house.

Other than this, you may also hide all the knives and other potential weapons that your dad may use on you or on himself in an attempt to self-harm during alcohol addiction.

2. Seek Rehab for Alcohol Abuse

Leaving alcoholism untreated is like playing with fire. Whether your father is just developing alcoholism, of if he has completely lost control of his senses, please get in touch with us at Diamond Rehab for addiction treatment without further delay.

With the help of rehab, you can have professional help from people who can handle your dad if he ever gets into one of his aggressive episodes due to alcohol problems. You can also find out about medical treatments, legal support, and family therapy for a father's alcoholism with a professional therapist.

The bottom line, rehab will help you gradually solve the situation and provide medical advice, too.

3. Find Your Financial Independence

As an adult child of alcoholic parents, especially an alcoholic father, you may be suffering from a terrible shortage of finances as well. If you're dependent on your father for your sustenance, then you may want to make arrangements for your own income so that you can relocate somewhere safe, even if it's only temporary.

If you're already financially self-sufficient and live on your own and fear that your alcoholic father might harm your family, try getting some financial help through to them. You may also help them by letting them stay over if you feel like their house isn't safe at any point during this nightmare. This might make things challenging, but remember, you have to get through this as a family!

The Don'ts of Daughters of Alcoholic Fathers

When adult children of alcoholics are working to curb their father's alcohol abuse lifestyle through addiction treatment, there are some key mistakes that you need to avoid at all costs.

1. Don't Let Guilt Get the Best of You

Alcoholism in parents is known to lead to isolated and antisocial behavior in other members of the family. You may hold yourself responsible for your father's condition. Sometimes, you may want to accuse your father of harming you and other loved ones while in one of his violent tantrums. In other cases, the fathers may also blame themselves for getting into this mess and dragging the children and the whole family along!

The thing is, alcoholism is a disease. Even the most well-off families and the most perfect parents may end up in this dark pit without realizing it beforehand. And as horrible as alcoholic behavior is, you cannot negate the fact that it's also beyond your father's control.

This is why daughters and adult children of alcoholics may have to invest more effort in keeping the relationships intact in alcoholic families despite the obvious disorders and chaos.

2. Don't Hit Him Back

Alcoholism is not only dangerous for your father, but it can also be destructive for you. This makes it really important for you to handle the situation with caution, which also means you have to turn a deaf ear to random pieces of advice from people in real life and on the internet.

For instance, you may have someone suggest you 'hit him back' when you mention alcoholic violence. Well, it sounds like a normal way of self-defense, but it's actually quite harmful for two reasons.

First, your alcoholic father, no matter how physically strong, cannot exactly make sense of what he's doing to his child, so if you hit him back, he may become even more aggressive and do something everyone may regret later on. Second, you have to understand that an alcoholic person is going through a terrible, disease-like phase, and hitting them isn't going to support you in solving things.

Not only does that count as reverse violence, but it's also emotionally draining for both children and adults. When your father sobers up, he'll most probably be just as apologetic without receiving a smack on his head.

3. Don't Suppress Your Emotions

Dealing with alcoholics and addiction recovery isn't going to leave your mental health unharmed, either. Daughters of alcoholics tend to be unsafe around their own fathers, which may even damage future relationships with other men in their life.

All the swearing, shouting, beating, and traumatic sexual abuse is going to leave its mark on your emotions, which is why it wouldn't be wise to just neglect your mental health problems when things with your father seem like they're returning to normal.

As uncomfortable as it may be, you also have to confront your own feelings as a child of an alcoholic parent for the sake of self-care.

You can keep a journal. You can confess to a friend if you crave acceptance and closure. You can seek support through relationship counseling if things are at high risk. You cannot and should not keep your trauma and your emotional disorders pent up inside you.

Conclusion: Dealing With an Alcoholic Parent

The child of an alcoholic parent is often at risk of developing symptoms of alcoholism later in life. Living with a drinking person also makes children of alcoholics more exposed to neglect from peers and a higher risk of mental disorders.

While treatment through a therapist can speed up the recovery of addiction-ridden parents, it can also lower the risk of addiction in the children of alcoholics. If you know adult children of alcoholics at risk of self-esteem or health issues, you can help them find treatment here at Diamond Rehab!

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